


I feel complete when you're by my side.

by rarepairqueen



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-12
Updated: 2016-04-12
Packaged: 2018-06-01 18:42:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6531559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rarepairqueen/pseuds/rarepairqueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A case of me asking myself "what if it had been Noya who confronted Asahi on quitting the volleyball club?" and Noya having undeclared feelings for the ace.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I feel complete when you're by my side.

**Author's Note:**

> All I did was listen to "If it means a lot to you" and "End of Me" by A Day To Remember and this just kinda happened.
> 
> I don't usually write angst and I've not been in the HQ!! fandom long so please excuse any OOC occurrences!
> 
> Also I might write a follow up fic to this if people want it.

 

  _Love; noun & verb; a passionate feeling of affection for another person._

 

 

* * *

 

Noya liked to think he could be a patient person. He liked to think he was understanding. He liked to think that he was a good senpai to the freshmen, he had learnt from Suga and Daichi after all, and so far that was true given how Hinata idolized him. He had to admit, he liked being called 'senpai'.

Everything seemed to be going okay, it was a new year and he was looking forward to continuing with the volleyball club. He had surprised Kageyama by receiving his spike and that had pretty much convinced the two freshmen that he was really 'Karasuno's guardian' as his reputation stated. Hinata was in the middle of rambling excitedly about how awesome Noya had looked and then how he wanted to be an ace like 'The Little Giant' when three familiar faces entered the gym.

"Nishinoya-san, glad to see you're still as loud as ever." Daichi remarked as Suga smiled and waved at him. Tanaka immediately made his way over for a high five and started telling him about how the new freshmen were all looking and also how Kiyoko was looking especially cute that semester. Noya smiled, letting Tanaka's animated story telling go on and even adding to it before the inevitable question came up.

"So where's Asahi-san?" He asked the two third years who had since started setting up for full practice.

Suga glanced at Daichi, his smile wavering slightly as the captain rubbed the back of his neck. "Uh...he's not coming."

"He quit." Suga offered a half smile that did little to soften the blow. "And I haven't been able to convince him to reconsider."

Noya sighed heavily, so Asahi still thought that he should be blamed for their loss. He couldn't describe what he felt as his gaze fixed on the gym floor, clenching his hands into fists without really thinking about it. Hinata started asking who Asahi was and Noya almost couldn't bear to look at him.

"He's our ace." Noya said quietly, not actually looking at Hinata. "Or should I say he _was_ our ace." He didn't want to risk bursting into pained sobs in front of the new members so he excused himself, walking to the storage room where the infamous broken broom was still gathering dust in the corner.

The broom that Asahi had broken when Noya shoved him. He hadn't wanted it to come to that, he was just trying to make Asahi see sense; that no-one blamed him for not being able to land any spikes and none of them hated him for it in the slightest. Sometimes that's just the way matches are. Sometimes no matter how hard you try, you fail. That was a sad truth of life, failure will beat you down if you let it get a hold on you. That was what Asahi had done; he had let it get to him.

He picked up the handle, the jagged edges of the splintered wood only further souring his mood. He always looked up to Asahi, he admired the ace's strengths and just wished he'd let him help work on his weaknesses. Asahi wasn't referred to as 'The Glass-Heart Ace' for nothing, the third year took even the smallest comment to heart and it somewhat irked Noya but at the same time, that kind-heartedness made him smile a little.

What made Asahi such a good senior in Noya's opinion was that he never let anyone blame themselves - the irony being he'd blame himself for things beyond his control - even if Noya screwed up a receive and the end result was their opponents gaining a point, Asahi never let him take the blame. He was quiet but he always encouraged everyone, on more than one occasion he had told Noya that he was in awe at his level of skill, he lacked confidence in himself but he tried to make up for it by being confident in everyone else. IT was something Noya had gone as far as to adopt as his own mantra; he was the libero who would always have his teammates' backs.

Noya could hear Tanaka explaining the abridged version of the ordeal to the freshmen, two other first years having shown up in the time Noya had been in the storage room staring at the broom handle. Hinata loudly stated that they should convince their ace to come back and Noya nearly laughed sarcastically at the small boy's optimism. He tossed the broom handle back in the corner to join the other half, as much as he loved volleyball, he just couldn't do it without Asahi. Even if Hinata became the ace like he had proclaimed he wanted to be, Karasuno wouldn't feel the same to him without Asahi.

When he walked out of the gym after stating that to Suga and Daichi, he wasn't followed. He felt sick to his stomach just thinking about playing without Asahi, tears of frustration threatening to fall as he stood in the covered walkway between the two buildings.

"Nishinoya-senpai?"

Noya didn't want to talk. He thought about how many times he probably interrupted his own senpais during moments like this and wondered how the heck they managed to keep themselves together.

"Yeah?" He asked, hastily wiping his eyes before smiling at Hinata.

"Is it true that Asahi-senpai quit because he lost?"

The words stung. "There was a bit more to it than that but yeah. It's true. And I'm not playing unless he comes back."

The first year cocked his head to the side in confusion. "Why? I thought the Libero didn't exclusively work with any other player."

"It's not that Shoyo." Noya sighed, he had to admit that Hinata had grasped what his position's purpose was really quickly and it made him happy but there was no smile on his face as he recounted that day only a few weeks ago. "Asahi-san...he took that loss to heart, like he takes everything to heart. He blamed himself for the loss and in the midst of getting upset over it he asked us all why we didn't hate him for it."

"You don't hate him though?"

"Exactly. Well I told him that I could never blame him for not scoring - stuff like that happens when you're up against teams like Date Tech - but what I could never forgive him for..." He trailed off, clenching his fists as he remembered the hostility in the air in that storage room. "I said I could never forgive him for giving up so easily."

"Oh."

"We argued. I shoved him to make a point and he broke a broom...he then left. I caught up to him the next day but we ended up arguing and in the middle of that argument I caused the vice principal to fall into a vase and smash it. So I got banned from club activities for a month. I...I haven't spoken to Asahi-san since."

Hinata could see the change in Noya's demeanour, he was avoiding the first year's gaze as he clenched his fists slightly.

"I'll get him to come back." He said. "Senpai, I'll get him to play again."

Noya looked up at him. He couldn't ask his kouhai to do that, Asahi wouldn't listen to a person he had never met. No, the only person who could possibly fix this was Noya and that was only if Asahi actually heard him out _and_ took it on board. Suga had tried and failed, Daichi didn't seem to want to force it and if Asahi didn't listen to either of them then there wasn't much hope left.

"I'll get him to be our ace, I want to learn how to be an ace from one--"

"Shoyo." Noya cut him off. "If you want to be the ace then be the ace. Don't listen to anyone trying to tell you otherwise. Don't let them discourage you. Most importantly, don't let failure ground you. Only cowards let themselves get beaten so easily."

Noya let the words hang in the air as he watched Hinata nod. He turned and started walking across the grass towards the school gates, leaving the first year to dwell on his words. His stomach was twisting as he thought about the argument that had pushed Asahi over the edge, he started thinking about what would've happened if he _had_ hated Asahi, or even if he had said he did just to keep him in the club. The tears that he had willed away came back, he didn't try to stop them as he kept walking home, his pace breaking into a run as he choked out sobs between his gasps.

He couldn't imagine playing again without Asahi.

 

* * *

 

 

Suga had been texting him all evening asking if he was okay, of course he wasn't but he satisfied his friend by stating - once again - that he wasn't coming back unless Asahi did too. The vice-captain ended up calling Noya out of worry and desperation.

"Nishinoya...we need you."

Noya huffed as he led on his bed and stared at the ceiling. "I'm not doing it."

"What if I got Asahi-san to come back?"

"Well then I'd come back obviously. But that wimp isn't going to is he?"

Suga made a noise that sounded like an over-dramatic sigh. "I'm going to talk to him tomorrow. Noya...you need to tell him."

"Tell him what? I told him what I think of him for giving up--"

"Not that. You need to tell him how you can't play without him. I'm not pretending I know everything but you've made it very obvious that he means a lot to you. Daichi and I can see that and I'm pretty sure Tanaka and the other second years can too."

The fact that Suga was right didn't make it any easier to accept. "I just...I want to toss to him one more time, to set him up to score..." Noya spoke quietly. "I want him to give me one more chance Suga-san..."

"I can only do so much, if I bug him much more about it then I'm afraid he'll shut us all out for good. Noya you need to be the one to tell him. I know he'll listen to you."

The lump in Noya's throat was back, he swallowed as Suga continued to try and build him up, something that Noya was used to doing to the rest of the team. He clutched his phone tightly as he cupped a hand over his mouth to muffle the ragged intakes of breath and small hiccups.

"Nishinoya?"

"What?" He mumbled.

"Are you crying?"

"No!"

Suga was probably smiling slightly, more in sympathy than anything else. "...I'm telling you this for your own good Noya, talk to him. I'm not telling you to apologise for speaking your mind but I know you've not spoken since your suspension. He's had time to think it all over - and you know he's spent every night over-thinking - so talk to him."

Whatever sorcery Suga had worked into his words seemed to work. Noya nodded before mumbling out a reply. He sniffed loudly and said goodbye to the other before rolling over and burying his face in his pillow. He wasn't used to feeling this way, he was used to feeling upbeat about anything and everything. He was used to stepping out onto that court and feeling the trust that his teammates instilled in him, to having their backs every match, to being the so-called 'Guardian God' of Karasuno.

He was used to directing those receives to their ace. To the one he grew so fond of. To the one he loved despite his flaws--no _because_ of those flaws. What had been a simple crush spawned from admiration had grown into a desire to be with him every match, every day, to breathe the same air as him, to see the gentle smile and hear the awkward laugh that Asahi always came out with when he was embarrassed. He didn't mind the lack of self-esteem if only Asahi would do something to try and overcome it. He didn't want Asahi to change drastically but he just wanted to know that he wasn't going to break at the slightest criticism. Noya wanted to work on with him not just for their matches but for his own good, he wanted Asahi to be comfortable, to be happy.

He wanted Asahi to be happy with him.

Yet in his haste to try and build him up, Noya had inadvertently torn him down.

 

* * *

 

 

He had somewhat expected to walk into Hinata as he made his way to the third year classrooms, he sure didn't put it past the eager first year to take matters into his own hands. Noya liked that about Hinata, he was determined to not let anyone stand in his way, even going as far as to team up with an old rival. When Suga had told Noya about that fiasco on the first training day it made him miss the club antics all the more.

He was adamant though; he wouldn't play without Asahi.

He happened to arrive at the door to see Suga talking to the ace, the calm vice-captain seemed a little more on the frantic side which probably meant he was getting desperate. Suga glanced up and met his eyes, he said something to Asahi which prompted the other to follow his gaze. Noya felt his heart sink slightly as a flicker of hurt crossed Asahi's face before he nervously smiled.

The third year rose from his seat and walked over to greet him, there was a lot of unspoken tension as Noya looked up at him. He had already been getting a few weird looks from the other's classmates.

"Should we take this somewhere else?" Asahi murmured quietly, Noya nodded and let him lead the way. They ended up outside near the gym but far enough out of earshot so they wouldn't be heard. Not a word was said between them as they walked, Noya's stomach was twisting and flipping as Asahi avoided his gaze but now they were alone.

"How have you been Asahi-san?" He asked, keeping his expression calm. He wasn't about to grovel at the ace's feet, he still had a small bit of resentment about him.

"Alright I guess..." The other replied, shoving his hands in his pockets. "You?"

Noya's eyes narrowed slightly. "The club's got some interesting members, a setter with an attitude, a middle blocker who really doesn't seem to want to be there, a first year who shows some promise as a server..." He trailed off, checking that Asahi was paying attention. "Oh and a decoy who wants to be the ace."

"Decoy..." Asahi repeated, his expression set but unreadable. "Well I suppose it could work."

"He's barely taller than me." Noya continued. "But I suppose if you've quit being our ace then they have no choice." He was hurt, that much was clear but he didn't quite want to make Asahi feel bad. Even so. "And they'll have to find a new libero."

"What?" Asahi actually looked shocked. "You're not--"

Noya shrugged. "I can't play."

The third year's brows furrowed. "Don't be an idiot, you're the perfect player-of course you can play!"

There was the 'always building others up' quirk. Noya gritted his teeth but didn't rise to it straight away. "And what's stopping _you_?"

The question definitely threw Asahi off, he frowned as Noya waited for an answer. "You know why."

"Because you let failure get to you."

"No, because I let the team down and we lost because of _me_." It was uncharacteristic for Asahi to get worked up, especially with Noya but Suga had been right when he said that Asahi had been over-thinking everything. "You should all hate me for what happened! I don't _deserve_ to be called the ace when I screwed up that badly!"

Noya was losing grip on his patience. "We don't hate you. Daichi doesn't hate you. Suga doesn't hate you. Tanaka doesn't hate you. Ennoshita, Narita and Kinoshita don't hate you." He listed off on his fingers. " _I_ don't hate you. What my problem with you is that you gave up! You let it get to you and you gave up Asahi..." His voice cracked as he said the other's name, his chest ached as he tried to hold himself together. "Just because you're the ace...doesn't mean you have to shoulder all the burden. We're a team Asahi...a team that won together and a team that lost together. It wasn't you're fault that the opposition's defence was that strong, I should've--"

"Don't you dare." Asahi uttered, stepping towards Noya. "Don't blame your decisions during that match. The ace is meant to be the safe option, the one you toss to when times are hard. Well I couldn't fulfil my duty as an ace."

"Then make yourself a better ace you-you--" Noya didn't finish. He couldn't think of anything to say, he was frustrated at himself, at Asahi, at the situation. "I told Hinata that if he wanted to be the ace then he had to not let anyone stand in his way, to not let anyone discourage him."

Asahi wouldn't look at him, it was as if he knew what was coming.

"You discourage yourself.. _.that's_ why you fail in your duty." Noya uttered. "Even when I tell you that you're doing great, you put yourself down, you gotta believe in yourself Asahi...like I believe in you."

There was a silence between them. Noya was near tears as his fear set in, he had to find the courage to tell Asahi the real reason he wasn't playing anymore. It was the only thing left that could possibly persuade the other to come back.

Asahi avoided his gaze as he sighed heavily. "Class will be starting again." He uttered. "I should get back."

Noya wanted to scream. He watched dumbfounded as Asahi turned and started walking back into the building, disappearing from sight quickly. His heart raced, his legs were shaking as he stood there alone for what seemed like an eternity before his resolve broke. He was going to drag Asahi back into the club by the hair if he had to. He bolted inside, taking the stairs two at a time as he tore after the third year.

He rounded the corner of the hallway to see Asahi slowly getting closer to his classroom. Suga and Daichi were stood outside looking confused and concerned.

He wasn't sure what came over him.

"Asahi!" He screamed, attracting everyone's attention as he watched the third year freeze in his tracks and turn his head. Noya didn't think twice, he started running, throwing himself at the other and sending them both to the ground. "Asahi I'm sorry, I'm sorry for all the things I said--" He babbled as the tears streamed from his face, he was an ugly crier but he didn't care in that moment.

Suga and Daichi weren't sure if they should intervene as Asahi looked like a deer in the headlights with Noya on top of him.

"I can't play volleyball without you!" He continued. "It doesn't feel right, I can't be on that court if you're not there. It isn't the same without you there--"

"Yu..." Asahi breathed, he looked like he was about to start crying himself. "I-I'm sorry..."

"Just let me toss to you one last time. I don't want our last match to be like that!"

Suga eventually had to intervene as they were gathering a crowd. He gently helped Noya off Asahi and tried to get him to calm down. Noya tried to brush his senpai's fussing hands away as he choked out a sob. Asahi looked very lost in that moment as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"Yu...a-are you serious? About the not playing thing?" He stammered, trying to grasp a hold of the situation as their classmates watched the tiny libero in hysterics.

Noya nodded, sniffing loudly as Suga let him go. "I can't imagine playing without you."

Suga and Daichi exchanged a glance as Asahi's face flushed red. "I'm sorry for being so...d-difficult."

Noya shook his head. "I want to help you. I want to help you be a better ace!"

Asahi went quiet, he didn't like how everyone in the hallway was still staring at him. "W-Why Yu? I'm going to be gone next year--"

"Because I love you dammit and I want you to be happy!"

The words hung in the air. There were a few murmurs and whispers from the surrounding students as neither of them said anything. Noya's chest was burning as his gaze fixed on the blushing third year. He expected to be shot down immediately. He expected Asahi to shut him out forever. He expected to be publicly humiliated.

He didn't expect Asahi to hug him.

He buried his face in the other's chest as he clung to him, breathing in the scent and feeling Asahi's rapidly beating heart.

"...Yu..." The third year breathed. That was it. No confession, no other words of comfort. Yet somehow Noya didn't mind, he knew Asahi wasn't the best with words and he also knew they were standing in a crowded hallway.

Daichi cleared his throat, causing Noya to pull away slightly. "So...we still have one more class to attend before practice..." The captain smiled slightly. "Unless you're both going to skip?"

Even Noya wasn't that stupid. He wiped at his tear-stained face before hurrying back to his class. He barely focused on his work as he avoided all questions regarding his red eyes. He practically bolted out of class to get to the club room to see if Asahi was there. Suga was the only one in the room but he gave no impression that there was anything to fret over.

"Daichi is talking with him. You kind of hit him out of the blue with that confession." He smiled. "Help me set up for practice?"

"...yeah..." Noya hummed. If Daichi was talking with Asahi then there was hope he was coming back. He got changed and helped Suga begin to set up for practice, word had gotten around and sure enough Tanaka was up in his business about the whole confession, Hinata quickly following suit.

Suga waded in and sent the underclassmen to do some stretches whilst they waited for Daichi and Kiyoko to show up. Noya smiled in gratitude as his paranoia set in, he hadn't ever lost himself in the moment so badly outside of a match. Normally he was impulsive and energetic but still very much aware of what he was doing, that afternoon had been anything but controlled or calculated and it slightly terrified him to find out what Asahi was thinking.

When the captain did return he motioned for Noya to go outside. Asahi was stood on the covered pathway, looking sheepish and embarrassed.

"I'll leave you to it." Daichi hummed, ruffling Noya's hair. "Come back to practice when you're ready."

Noya regarded Asahi with a slightly nervous gaze. He wasn't sure what to do with himself, he had confessed to having feelings for the third year in public without a word of warning, whilst in a state of hysteria at that. Asahi wasn't looking that calm either, he kept rubbing the back of his neck as he bit on his bottom lip.

They were silent for a few moments before the third year eventually spoke.

"You want to make me into a better ace?" His voice was quiet as his gaze flickered between the floor and Noya.

"Yeah." Noya replied quickly. "I do...I want you to enjoy playing as much as I do. I want to send the ball to you and watch you spike again..."

Asahi met his gaze with a small smile that caused Noya to immediately smile back and take a step closer. Just something about Asahi's smile made him relax. "And you say Hinata wants to be the ace?"

Noya nodded. "Are you going to let him?"

There was a small spark in Asahi's eye. "What kind of ace would I be if I simply let my title be given away?"

There was the Asahi that Noya loved, a seldom seen sight even before all of this chaos. His smile growing slightly as the conversation continued. "So you're Karasuno's ace?"

"...an ace needs a reliable libero you know. I can't do all the work and take all the credit."

If Noya wasn't already convinced, Asahi's coy remark almost sealed the deal. Almost.

"Um...s-so about what you said in the hallway." The more timid side of the third year coming back as the topic turned to something much more sensitive. Noya's smile wavered slightly as he considered what was about to be said. "Did you mean it?"

Noya said a lot of things in that hallway but there was really only one thing that would have Asahi blushing so much. "I...I did." He stated. "I meant all of it. I want you to be happy and I..."

Asahi nodded, closing the gap between them a little more as Noya's voice trailed off. The silence returned as the smaller boy looked up at the other, his heart was beating so hard that he thought it was going to burst out of his chest. He didn't know why he was so nervous, he had already blurted the three words out after all - although it had been when he was incredibly worked up.

"You're a perfect player Yu." Asahi murmured, ruffling Noya's hair. "You always try to better yourself and those around you...I wish I could be more like you."

"I like you the way you are...well when you're not behaving like a scaredy-cat."

Asahi chuckled, it was a somewhat nervous laugh but that was more due to the fact his hand had stopped ruffling Noya's hair. Smaller fingers took hold of his hand, bringing it away from Noya's head and linking the fingers together.

"Asahi..." Noya breathed. "I really did mean it. I love you."

If there was a time before this that Noya had seen Asahi's nerves portrayed so well on his face, then he didn't remember. The third year's cheeks were red as he opened his mouth to reply but no words came out. He squeezed Noya's hand briefly which gave the other a small indication that the feeling was mutual.

"I..." Asahi uttered, he wasn't good with words a lot of the time and Noya knew that.

"It's okay." Noya offered a more endearing smile. "I'm not leaving you Asahi."

"I won't leave you Yu, not again."

That was a good enough confession for Noya. He squeezed Asahi's hand again and fully closed the gap between them, burying his face in the other's shirt again as he felt a strong arm wrap around him.

"I mean it. I won't leave...I-I love you..."

Noya looked up at Asahi's blushing face and giggled slightly, wrapping his free arm around the ace. He was content to stay like the forever, wrapped up in Asahi's embrace, feeling complete once more. Everyone always spoke about how a lot of teams had unique bonds, but he felt like the one he shared with Asahi was something special.

The libero and the ace. Always connected.

 


End file.
